There is always much talk about being compassionate toward others. Often it is overlooked that the majority of us are taught to feel the opposite towards ourselves.
First I’d like to suggest that we use a term other than “compassion”. Compassion is defined by Google as “sympathetic pity and concern for the suffering and misfortune of others”. I can only speak for myself but perhaps you too can feel the underlying negativity in this statement. The words “kindness” and “appreciation” might be better to use.
Learning to be kind to ourselves can be difficult and finding self appreciation can be harder, but these are vital components in creating the lives we want. I can’t recall who said it but the fact is “no one ever bullied themselves into enlightment.” We don’t generally go around helping others to move forward by bullying them, so why then do we feel it’s necessary to do it to ourselves? We must be more understanding and forgiving of ourselves. So you screwed up. You yelled. You cursed. You gave them “the finger”. We all have our moments, but we must not talk down on ourselves for it. “I’m so terrible. What type of person am I to act this way? I hate that about me! I’m so mean.” Thoughts like these will only hold us in a low vibration, if not lower it even further. In these situations if we are unable to find understanding in ourselves, it’s wise to find something else that feels softer. “At least the sun is shining.” Or “Dinner is going to be amazing” are a couple of examples.
Earlier in my own journey I decided this was an area I severely lacked. I asked myself what was the one thing that I couldn’t help but to feel kindness for, and that was an infant. In meditation that day I decided to imagine I was cradeling myself as an infant. In that moment I was able to connect with my own inner purity and innocence. Tears began streaming down my face as I realized and then released the horrible ways I had treated myself over the years. The decision was made to forgive myself, always, and I was able to move forward with a new loving appreciation for who I am.
You might be thinking “That’s great and all, but how does this apply to real life?” I now do my best to forgive myself (immediately) when I act in a way that I know doesn’t reflect who I truly am. I allow myself space and time to feel all that I’m feeling, without trying to rush out of it or demeaning myself for feeling things. If I’m tired, I sleep. When I don’t want to eat a salad, I don’t. Most of all, I don’t beat myself up from the inside.
One example is when it comes to preparing meals for my family. Many of my meals are fairly time consuming, and some days I just don’t have it in me to put out so much effort. On these occasions I allow myself to make something simple, without apology or belittling myself for not “doing better”. The following is an example of one of those meals. If you try it, let me know what you think! And remember, no one gets anywhere by bullying themselves. Much love to you all! ❤
Chunky Red Sauce with Gluten Free Pasta
1.5 cans tomato paste (6oz cans)
2 cups water
1 small onion
2 garlic cloves
3/4 cup chopped baby Bella mushrooms
1 green pepper (chopped)
1 tsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp sea salt
1/8-1/4 tsp pepper
2 tsp Italian seasoning
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp onion powder
1/8 tsp red pepper flakes (less or more depending on desired spiciness.)
1 TBLS pure maple syrup
One package of gluten free pasta of your choice. I use the brand Live G Free.
- Put all sauce ingredients in sauce pan. Mix well.
- Heat on low-medium heat for 20 mins.
- Prepare pasta by package directions
- Top pasta with sauce and enjoy!